Back in the day, before the World Wide Web, the Apple Developer Services group published and mailed a paper newsletter to developers every week. I know, it’s hard to imagine. We used that channel to get important news out to our developers, and also to have a little fun. With a publication that frequent, the editors were often hungry for articles. And I liked to write goofy stuff, having grown up on MAD Magazine and Monty Python’s Flying Circus and so on. So the newsletter folks would publish what I wrote, usually as the lead story, before getting into the actual real news stuff. I think there must have been lots of slow news weeks.
I’ve kept one of these ancient newsletters around for all these years — of course I have. You can see images of the four pages below. Following that, I’ve OCRed and added the newsletter text for easier reading. You’ll love the references to postal mail, telephone calls, AppleLink (Apple’s proprietary email system), and the complete lack of any mention of the Web.
You can decide how funny and how weird my article is. Myself, I find it kinda cute and pretty dumb. But mostly it’s amazing to me that Apple let this out the door in an official document. Especially the part where I say I was high on cold medicine when I wrote it.
The rest of the newsletter is very serious! Topics include MacTCP, registering your fonts, and Apple’s deal with Tandem Computers.
Here’s the text, for easier reading:
Apple viewpoints
Published weekly by Apple Developer Services
October 17, 1988
Apple News and Perspectives for the Developer Community
Myth Understandings
by Scott Knaster, Writer-Engineer
Over the past 11 years, millions and millions of Apple® products have been sold to folks all over the world. As with any popular item of some complexity, Apple people and products have created their own distinctive culture, and this culture comes complete with its very own legends and harrowing tales. After hearing these tales told and retold, I think it’s time to put a few of them to rest. So, as a public service, here’s the truth about some of the greatest Apple myths.
MYTH NUMBER 1. Apple products work better if the power cord is the same color as the product’s case.
Those of you who have been around for a while probably know that Apple’s power cords have changed color along with the products. Long ago, when we just weren’t very stylish, all Apple power cords were black. Eventually, they turned beige to match our products, and now, of course, they’re platinum, just like all our other stuff. Contrary to popular belief, though, you don’t need a platinum cord just because the product is platinum.
MYTH NUMBER 2. Apple put an audio mode into the AppleCD SC drive just so its engineers would have something to listen to while they’re working those long hours.
Of course, this just isn’t true. Actually, there’s an audio mode in the AppleCD SC™ drive so that Macintosh aficionados won’t have to waste valuable computing time with such idle activities as listening to music—they can just keep computing while enjoying Beethoven or Laurie Anderson. Apple is considering other additions to this important new trend in peripheral features, including the Apple PopCornMaker SC and a new control panel module (a cdev) that starts your car on cold mornings (not available in California.)
MYTH NUMBER 3. Apple employees receive free juice and massages during working hours.
This old rumor is obviously false, but it’s been persistent for many years. Most likely, the “free juice” thing refers to the immense amount of power (colloquially known as “juice” in some nerd circles) that most Apple employees consume in their offices. The typical Apple engineer’s office contains four or five computers (fewer for managers), about a gigabyte of hard disk space, a medium-size stereo system, a small refrigerator, an electric shoe polisher, a waffle iron, a space heater, and a free-standing arcade game. “Massages” is probably just a misinterpretation of “messages,” as in phone messages, of which every Apple employee acquires dozens.
MYTH NUMBER 4. Every chapter in Inside Macintosh refers to every other chapter, and you can’t learn one without learning the others.
Obviously, this can’t be true. If you couldn’t learn one chapter without learning the others, you’d never be able to learn any of them, now would you? And there are obviously several thousand people who have learned something, because there are zillions of Macintosh applications, and more of them keep coming out all the time. Of course, you will find it much easier to learn a new chapter in Inside Macintosh if you do already know everything else.
MYTH NUMBER 5. There are little tiny people inside your computer carrying the bits around.
This isn’t true, as far as I know. In his recent books, Communion and Transformation, Whitley Strieber writes convincingly of his encounters with intelligent non-human beings. Because we obviously don’t understand everything about the universe, and nobody really understands how electricity works (do you know anyone who does?) there possibly could be little tiny people inside your computer. If there are, though, it’s news to me.
MYTH NUMBER 6. Crushing your hard disk with a hydraulic press makes the disk work better.
I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve heard this old wives’ tale. No matter what you’ve heard from your neighbors, no matter how many times you may have seen this process described in the various trade journals, don’t try it. It just doesn’t help things at all.
We hope these friendly words of information will be useful to you as you work with Apple products. I know I haven’t had a chance to cover all those great myths that persist, but at least we’ve been able to take care of a few. If you know of any others that you’d like to see addressed, I’d appreciate it if you’d AppleLink® or mail them in, so that we can all learn about them the next time around. Thanks.*
Scott Knaster
*Note: This article was produced while the writer was under the influence of various legal non-prescription pharmaceutical products, including but not necessarily limited to Neo-Synephrine (contains xylometazoline with benzalkonium and phenylmercuric acetate) and Sudafed.
KEEP THIS AND ALL MEDICINE OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN.
(Other more serious stuff that I didn’t write follows. This is a fascinating peek at the Apple developer group and developer business in 1988. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to register fonts.)
Developer Tools—Direct from Apple!
The goal of the Apple Developer Channels group is to offer developers timely and convenient access to Apple development tools and the Apple Technical Library. To this end, Developer Channels is pleased to announce a new program called “Developer Tools Direct.” Starting October 17th, Certified Developers who are also members of APDA™ (Apple Programmer’s and Developer’s Association) will have two options when ordering Apple-labeled development tools, languages, system software, and technical documentation: you can continue to order these products through APDA, or you can order them directly from Apple through Developer Tools Direct.
How Does It Work?
The complete listing of products available through this program is included in a price list that Developer Channels is mailing to all Certified Developers the week of October 17th. You can purchase these products with Visa, MasterCard, AppleCredit, money order, purchase order, or check payable to Apple Computer, Inc. To place an order through Developer Tools Direct, choose any of the following methods:
Call (800) 282-2732, Monday–Friday, 9:00 A.M.–5:00 P.M.
Mail an order form (It’s in the Developer Tools Direct folder within the Developer Products folder under the Developer Services icon.) to the following:
Apple Computer Developer Tools Direct
20525 Mariani Avenue, MS 33G, Cupertino, CA 95014AppleLink us at DEV.CHANNELS (The order form and product information is in the Developer Tools Direct folder within the Developer Products folder under the Developer Services icon.)
FAX your order form to (408) 562-3971 or send a TELEX to 171-576.
As mentioned above, only APDA members may buy products through the Developer Tools Direct program. APDA members also receive the APDAlog, and are eligible to buy a wide variety of third-party development products as well as all Apple technical products.
APDA Membership
If you are not now an APDA member, send a membership application and membership fee to the following address:
APDA, 290 SW 43rd Street, Renton, WA 98055
The membership application is available on AppleLink (in the APDA folder within the Developer Products folder under the Developer Services icon), or call (800) 282-2732 for a copy. The membership fee is $20 in the U.S. ($25 in Canada or Mexico, $35 in all other countries).
Contact Developer Channels
The Developer Channels group wants your comments on how this program works for you. They also welcome your feedback on developer products and APDA. Please send all comments to the following address:
Apple Computer Developer Tools Direct
20525 Mariani Avenue, MS 33G, Cupertino, CA 95014
AppleLink: DEV.CHANNELS
NEWSBRIEFS
Macintosh Business Conference & Exposition
Are you interested in a conference that is Macintosh-based and “strictly business?” Over 10,000 people are expected to attend the 1988 Macintosh Business Conference & Exposition.
When: November 1st–3rd, 1988
Where: Disneyland Hotel and Convention Center, Anaheim, CA
Keynote Speaker: Allan Loren, President, Apple USA
Sponsors: Cambridge Marketing, Inc. and MacUser magazine
What:
⚬ Fifty plus conferences featuring industry keynote panels: “Business Software Publishers” and “What We Need to Keep Macintosh on Top”
⚬ Half-day professional tutorials including “Hands on Business Software Series”
⚬ Full-day executive seminars such as “MIS/DP Connectivity Roundtable”Who: Over 100 exhibitors including: Acius, Adobe Systems, Claris™, Dayna Communication, Eastman Kodak, Micro Cad/Cam, Pixelogic, and WordPerfect Corp.
How: For ticket information call Cambridge Marketing, Inc. at (800) 262-3378
Don’t miss this event, already shaping up to be a real winner for Apple and you!
Font Registration
MacDTS is now registering fonts. For details of the program, send an AppleLink to FONT.REG.
If you don’t have access to AppleLink, you can drop a line to:
Font Registration Program
Apple Computer, Inc.
20525 Mariani Ave.
MS 51-T
Cupertino, CA 95014
The number of IDs that will be registered is limited, so act now!
Announcing MacTCP
Apple recently announced MacTCP™, a software implementation of Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol (TCP/IP) for the Macintosh operating system. MacTCP runs on any Macintosh, from the 512Ke to the new Mac® IIx, over both Ethernet® and LocalTalk™ cabling systems. MacTCP is the fundamental building block that lets the Mac operate and share information with many different computer systems that use TCP/IP protocols, including Cray supercomputers, UNIX®-based workstations, Digital Equipment’s VAX™ systems, and many others. MacTCP will be licensed to third-party developers to develop applications such as electronic mail, virtual terminal, file transfer, database access and distributed applications. MacTCP is a complete implementation of the TCP/IP protocol suite that includes the IP, TCP, UDP, ICMP, ARP, RIP, and BootP protocols. It is a site-licensed product for developers. An internal use license will cost $2,500, and a commercial license will cost an additional $2,500. There will also be a discount for higher education institutions. MacTCP will be available in the first calendar quarter of 1989.
Tandem and Apple Enter into VAR Agreement
Tandem Computers, Inc. and Apple have entered into a four-year value-added reseller (VAR) agreement under which Tandem will sell, support and service Macintosh computers as part of Tandem’s on-line transaction processing networks.
In addition to the VAR agreement, Tandem is developing connectivity products in the area of local area networking, database access, terminal emulation, host interfaces, and file/print services. The initial Tandem rollout of these products, along with service and support for the Macintosh, will occur in early 1989. Tandem’s expertise in financial services, manufacturing, telecommunications, retail, and on-line transaction processing will advance the acceptance of Macintosh into these market segments.
October Is Computer Learning Month
Remember, October is Computer Learning Month. Schools, user groups, and community groups across the country will be hosting computer learning events. Computer Learning Month is championed by the Software Publishers Association (SPA) and sponsored by several computer manufacturers and developers. To find out more about scheduled events in your community, contact your local school, library, or user group.
Equipment Order Forms Available from Your Support Center
You don’t have to call the Developer Hotline and then wait for the forms to arrive. You can now obtain developer equipment order forms directly from the support center when you place your equipment orders.
To obtain a packet of order forms, reference part # A7G0022 (Developer Programs Order Forms) on your next equipment order. There is no charge for the forms, and you receive six per packet.
Next time you place an equipment order, don’t forget to order a supply of Developer Programs Order Forms.
STAFF
Editor: Roger Dills
Project Coordinator: Julie Hicks-Herman
Contributing Publication Group: Tina DiGirolamo, Lisa Raleigh, Chris Walker, Gregg Williams
Production: The Compage Company, San Francisco, CA
©1988 Apple Computer, Inc.
Apple, AppleLink, the Apple logo, Macintosh, and Mac are registered trademarks of Apple Computer, Inc. APDA, AppleCD SC, LocalTalk, MacTCP are trademarks of Apple Computer, Inc. Claris is a trademark of Claris Corporation. UNIX is a registered trademark of AT&T Information Systems. Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox Corporation. VAX is a trademark of Digital Equipment Corporation.
Mailing / Return Address Box
Apple viewpoints
Apple Computer, Inc.
20525 Mariani Avenue
Cupertino, CA 95014
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Paper subscriptions to this Substack are not available. And remember, October is Computer Learning Month!
When the Jobs’ away, the Scott will play?
Those were the days my friend… I thought they’d never end